cw: rape, sexual assault
mama threw me away with a trash bag of clothes the day he traded 
me in for girl with a waterfall of blonde curls and eyes like blueberry skittles

bloodstained pajamas turned his appetite gray like the molted locust 
husks clinging to the slumbering tree outside my window sill 

i spaced visits to friends apart with equations, distanced echoes of missing
winter wear with anecdotes, shook the chill from my gaze to rotate dinner tables

i stole shadows to hide from cars circling the medians like vultures searching out 
a bloated carcass, slid between days until the sliver of dawn sent wolves to sleep

i don't miss the nightly wake held inside my closet beneath piles of hand-me-downs, 
cursing myself for shoving more under my bed and less where i buried my fear

i catch screams in my throat like uncooked rice dug from between prongs of a fork 
with an overeager tongue — it’s easier to swallow one grain at a time
J Snow is a poet/author whose work has been described as disturbing, visceral, haunting, evocative. Pulling inspiration from personal experience as an abuse/abduction survivor, her writings provide readers a peek inside the splintered psyche of a trauma victim. A member of P&W, WPN, and NWU, her published works include two in a best selling series of Hellbound Books, one in an award winning Author's Tale collection, others by Horrified Press, Zombie Pirate Publishing, Nothing Books, The Horror Zine, Sirens Call, Soft Cartel Magazine, Ariel Chart, and The Indian Feminist Review.
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